Reflections on Turning 40: Shaking Off the Dust of the Last Decade

As I write this, I am midway through my final day as a thirty-something. Tomorrow, I turn 40 and part of me wants to complain about getting old. But I attended a funeral this morning for a nine-day old baby, and it strikes me that nothing could be more annoying or obnoxious than complaining about…

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The Privilege of Parenting an 18-Year Old

We’ve been a bit off-topic here lately. However, with my daughter’s graduation from high school this spring, my mind has been elsewhere. More specifically, it’s been thinking about how unexpectedly wonderful this time has been. It’s been an opportunity to not only look back at the last 18 years with pride – we did it!…

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What I’ve Learned in Four Years as a Widow

Here we are. We come to this place every year. An anniversary. There are plenty of anniversaries to be had – job anniversaries, wedding anniversaries, home-buying anniversaries – but this particular anniversary is a death anniversary. Specifically, it’s my husband’s death anniversary. Which leads to my yearly rumination of exactly how does one celebrate a…

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Surround Yourself with Good People (And Where to Find Them)

I had yesterday planned with precision. There would be a Senior Mass and luncheon for my oldest daughter. Muffins with Mom with my youngest son. Then some quick shopping, packing and picking up of kids before I headed across the state to spend the night in Detroit where I needed to collect my Mom at…

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Is your life an adventure or a tragedy? You get to decide.

I hope you all had a blessed Easter. We had a beautiful day here. It was a little wet in the morning, but eventually it warmed up and a pleasant breeze rolled through. After our visitors had left, the kitchen was cleaned and the kids were in their middle of a sugar stupor, I escaped…

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My Husband is Dead and So I Have 1,670 Books on My To-Read List

Mere minutes ago, I added two more books to my to-read list on GoodReads. That brings my total up 1,670. That’s one thousand six hundred and seventy books I hope to read at some point in my life. I’ve been averaging about 50 books a year so if I don’t add another volume, I can…

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It Gets Better and That’s No Foolin’

The blog was a bit quiet in March. Did you notice? I did. This is my place to unspool the thoughts in my head, and I’ve missed having the opportunity to the work through some threads rolling around there lately. I serve as a volunteer for Junior Achievement, and that took up a good chunk…

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2 Comments

    1. Hi Maryalene,
      I have stumbled upon your site and hope you don’t mind a widower poking around. I lost my beautiful wife this month last year and it’s been just brutal. I have a 16yr old daughter and 18yr old son and blessed in that they are taking it better than I am. Our parish/school community came together when we needed them but that seems like a just a memory now. It’s just so quiet. I have to soon make some financial decisions and trying to research as much as I can.
      Take Care,
      Andrew

      1. Hi Andrew,

        You are more than welcome here, and I am so sorry to hear about your wife. Brutal sounds about right to me. 🙁

        I’ve had a couple really supportive people who’ve been in it for the long haul, but it does seem like most of the help evaporated by the 6 month mark. I really don’t blame people. They aren’t living with it everyday, and I think they just figure we’ve settled into a new, comfortable routine. Meanwhile, I want to wave and say, Yoo Hoo! I’m still here…all alone….raising the kids all by myself…replaying sad memories in my mind every day. But I don’t think people really get it unless they’ve been there, done that.

        I hope this month is as good as it can be given the circumstances and that you are able to find the information you need to make the best decisions.

        Best wishes,

        Maryalene

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